Tuna Pizza

    Not strictly speaking Rough Food, but I think worth mentioning, nonetheless.

    Many, many years ago when I first started dating The Blonde and we were still getting to know each other, she invited me round for an evening meal at her flat.

    As it was a beautiful, balmy summer's evening and the sun was just starting to set over the tall trees beyond the lawn at the bottom of her garden, she decided that she would cook and that we would eat outside.

    Now, I have mentioned in The Blog that The Blonde honestly is a superb chef, but at the time, I didn't know this -as I said we were still getting to know each other.  What I may not have mentioned is her sense of humour.

    So, after the obligatory first bottle of wine, she announced that dinner was ready, and so brought it down the stairs to the little table set out beautifully for two on the first floor balcony.  Looking resplendent in a short, light, cotton-print summer dress, barefoot and with a blue ribbon in her hair, she presented it to the table with a flourish.  Ta-da!

    Homemade pizza.  One of my favourites!
   That was until I saw just what she'd topped it with.
    Amongst other things a tin of tuna in brine.
    Oh, with some rather wilted looking lettuce, as well. 
    Yes, that's right.  Lettuce on a pizza.

    Now, I know this doesn't sound all that unappetizing, but trust me.  If you ever want to stop a suitor in his or her tracks, offer to make them this.  You can put all the toppings you want on to make it look cool, trendy and mouth-watering, but just a little of that one ingredient...
    It looked just fine, but the smell, taste and texture really did beggar belief!
    Oh, the fun you'll have as you watch your (...hopefully 'not-'...) soon-to-be-beau trying to look as if they're enjoying it!  You might now want to kiss them 'Goodnight' at the end of the evening though.  At least until they're brushed their teeth and had a good gargle with some mouthwash.

...

    After that, she managed to put me off for three whole days. 
    ...You may get luckier and longer...